When I lived in Hungary and had the opportunity to learn folk dance from some amazing teachers. I started to notice that there were two schools of thought out there.
The first group was into learning a dance style to an almost ridiculous level of precision. These were the dancers who poured over archive footage and learned everything they could about a given region, a village, even a specific dancer’s steps.
Their “dance vocabulary” was insane. You could have filled a book with the number of different dance moves they knew.
Honestly, I felt a little intimidated by these dancers.
If I went to a táncház, I felt like I was doing something wrong if my steps didn’t specifically match the particular village’s music. Think dancing Szentbenedeki to Magyarózdi music – it’s all Küküllő to me.
Then there was the other crowd who said “Yeah, learn a dance, but really live it and make it your own”. Ok. This sounds a little more my style.
So, I joined a group with teachers that I really liked and got down to the business of learning. I checked out those archive videos, but took it all with a grain of salt. After all, I’m not from said village, I’m never going to dance like XY néni.
But, these teachers kept on telling me that I was concentrating too hard and that I was all tensed up. And what the heck did they mean by “living” a dance?
Then I got out of town and travelled to as many places as I could.
The first time I went to the week long dance and music camp in Gyimes, I was blown away. I finally got it. Sure, I wasn’t a local yokel, but for the first time ever, I felt like I was dancing! That there was more here than just steps and following your partner.
I’ll never forget dancing with one gentleman from Gyimesfelsőlok. He was a little older, maybe late 50s. A little shabby looking compared to all the big city campers.
I’ll be honest, I was a little népi buzi star struck.
I mean, in one way, this is what we dream of right? To dance with a helybeli, a hagyományörző… an adatközlő! (think dancing with your favourite celebrity that no one else has ever heard of).
He’d dance for a bit, then he’d rest a bit, look around, and then start up again. This continued for the entire dance.
But it was so simple. I didn’t care what my feet were doing anymore, I just moved. I was lost in my own thoughts, in my partner and in everything happening around me. For once, I wasn’t thinking about embarrassing myself in front of my host family when they laughed at my hand-wash laundry skills. Or about what time I’d have to wake up the next morning to hitch a ride to the community centre where the lessons were held.
My brain shut off. And it was awesome.
I didn’t even realize that we did the most basic of steps all night. The same 3-4 steps. all. night. long.
I call this the Village Zen, because it really is a lot like meditating. You feel refreshed and back in focus when you leave your partner.
So why this long story?
Well, sitting here, I’m surrounded by the mess a three month old and a two year old generate. Getting frustrated that nothing is getting crossed off my to do list. My son’s birthday party is just over the horizon followed by the holiday season and I haven’t started party planning. Looking at my stack of recipes of “cool mama” treats and recipes I want to try and feeling like I’m failing as a mom because my two year old is throwing another screaming fit.
I love this blog, but finding time to actually do the work that I want to do to make it successful is darn hard! I need to carve out some time to do some good ol’ research. How am I ever going to get all this done?
I’m reminded that I just need to stop. Stop trying to live up to the archive footage (ahem… Pinterest) of the supermom doing this most amazing ugrós, dancing from one project to another, all while maintaining a pristine house and volunteering to lead a mommy group for us crazy, frizzled moms.
What I really need, is to pick three or four things that I’m good at, that make me feel happy and that make my family happy. I need to forget about tripping over my feet and just feel everything happening around me.
There is a dance that each of us does every single day. Sometimes, we have people we share that dance with, and we need to learn to dance with them and not just around them.
So, time to turn on some music and dance with the kiddos. After all, they make the best dance partners…
What about you?
Have you ever felt that Zen moment while dancing? Where were you and what were you dancing? What reminds you to slow down in your every day life? Let us know in the comments below!
Foundling Folk 