Sour Face Tell All

I’ve noticed something rather worrisome lately. You know that person you sit across from on the subway during your morning commute? Or the woman at the coffee shop? Yeah… that one who looks perpetually pissed off at the world?

I think I’m that person.

I’ll be reading on the couch (a rare treat these days that I completely relish) and dear hubby will ask me, with complete concern, if everything is okay. What follows goes like this:

Me: “Uhm… yeah. I’m reading. Why?”

Hubby: “Well, you look a little upset.”

Me: “No. I’m reading. I’m actually doing pretty good.”

Hubby: “Are you sure you’re not upset about something?”

Me: “No. Should I be?”

Hubby: “Really, you can tell me if something’s bothering you?”

This exchange will continue for about five minutes, at the end of which, I really am upset that I’ve been grilled about something that I should be upset about but have no idea what, but I know I wasn’t and he was sure I was, and now we’re fighting instead of me reading on the couch in peace. (Did I mention I don’t get very many opportunities to do that lately?)

It’s struck me, that I have a “rest face” that’s rather negative looking at the best, bitchy at the worst. Yes, “bitchy rest face” is a thing. Just check it out. 

I don’t know how it happened or when. Maybe it’s the mother-in-law I don’t get along with. Maybe it’s the two small kids that are draining my energy. Either way, I always look, well… down.

I remember thinking this about my grandmother. Even when I was young, I noted that her “rest face” always had a downturned mouth. I couldn’t help but think that there was something bothering her. That she wasn’t happy about life.

It wasn’t until I was much older, and she had passed, that I started to truly understand how hard her knocks in life were. At the end of WWII, when she was 20 years old, she took her one year old daughter (my aunt), her aging mother, and a cart full of belongings and headed out for Western Europe, where my grandfather was in a POW camp somehwere. She didn’t even know where, just that it was West.

Then she moved to Canada and started all over. Again. She was a notorious back-stabber and was always trying to one-up her friends. She was a queen manipulator and held a masters degree in guilt trip delivery. All things that I was (thankfully) oblivious to as a child.

So, I understand that she’s had a lot to be unhappy about as far as her life turning out the way she wanted it to.

But, then I start thinking of my own life. My generation has been relatively lucky in growing up in society where there haven’t been any major upheavals, here in the Great White North. While Canada has taken part in peacekeeping missions in the Balkans, Africa, and the Middle East, war is a distant concept. We have relative security.

Money has been tight, but we’ve always had a roof over our heads and hot meals on our table three times a day.

I have people I love and people who love me in return.

I am lucky.

Sure, life hasn’t exactly happened the way I thought it would. I’ve always floundered a little when it comes to having a “career”. I met the man of my dreams when I was 13 and spent the next 13 years fooling around before I realized that he was the One. Then, in all honesty, our family started comepletly by accident. Yup. Planned for sure, just not right then. And that caused me a lot of grief.

And that aforementioned mother-in-law? Well, now that we’re no longer living under the same roof, things are getting better. She still likes to make her little “comments” and I’m still learning to let things go, but we’re trying to move forward.

So, while, I’m sure I can come up with a ton of reasons to explain my sour puss rest face, the bottom line is I don’t really care anymore. I cant change how other people perceive me, but I can change how I choose to encounter the world.

And it’s really so easy to take on a positive look on life. And you don’t have to make these huge sweeping changes, either.

You start at the very beginning.

So here are my quick actions that I’m going to do on a daily basis.

1. When I see an opportunity to be kind to someone, I’ll take it. Today, this meant letting a car turn in front of us while we were walking home from the park. So simple, but I got a smile out of the driver and you could see he appreciated it.

2. Find opportunities to thank my children fro their contributions in our household. They’re only 3 and 1, but the way my son looks when I thank him for his help, when I truly acknowledge his contirubutions, is amazing.

3. Do one small thing for my husband everyday. Something that he wouldn’t expect. Today, I think I’ll mix up some

massage oil for his aching shoulder and give him some massage loving.

What small steps do you take to stay positive?

Join us on our Facebook page or leave your comments below.

Channeling some Village Zen

When I lived in Hungary and had the opportunity to learn folk dance from some amazing teachers. I started to notice that there were two schools of thought out there.

The first group was into learning a dance style to an almost ridiculous level of precision. These were the dancers who poured over archive footage and learned everything they could about a given region, a village, even a specific dancer’s steps.

Their “dance vocabulary” was insane. You could have filled a book with the number of different dance moves they knew.

Honestly, I felt a little intimidated by these dancers.

If I went to a táncház, I felt like I was doing something wrong if my steps didn’t specifically match the particular village’s music. Think dancing Szentbenedeki to Magyarózdi music – it’s all Küküllő to me.

Then there was the other crowd who said “Yeah, learn a dance, but really live it and make it your own”. Ok. This sounds a little more my style.

So, I joined a group with teachers that I really liked and got down to the business of learning. I checked out those archive videos, but took it all with a grain of salt. After all, I’m not from said village, I’m never going to dance like XY néni.

But, these teachers kept on telling me that I was concentrating too hard and that I was all tensed up. And what the heck did they mean by “living” a dance?

Then I got out of town and travelled to as many places as I could. 

The first time I went to the week long dance and music camp in Gyimes, I was blown away. I finally got it. Sure, I wasn’t a local yokel, but for the first time ever, I felt like I was dancing! That there was more here than just steps and following your partner.

I’ll never forget dancing with one gentleman from Gyimesfelsőlok. He was a little older, maybe late 50s. A little shabby looking compared to all the big city campers.

I’ll be honest, I was a little népi buzi star struck.

I mean, in one way, this is what we dream of right? To dance with a helybeli, a hagyományörző… an adatközlő! (think dancing with your favourite celebrity that no one else has ever heard of).

He’d dance for a bit, then he’d rest a bit, look around, and then start up again. This continued for the entire dance.

But it was so simple. I didn’t care what my feet were doing anymore, I just moved. I was lost in my own thoughts, in my partner and in everything happening around me. For once, I wasn’t thinking about embarrassing myself in front of my host family when they laughed at my hand-wash laundry skills. Or about what time I’d have to wake up the next morning to hitch a ride to the community centre where the lessons were held.

My brain shut off. And it was awesome.

I didn’t even realize that we did the most basic of steps all night. The same 3-4 steps. all. night. long.

I call this the Village Zen, because it really is a lot like meditating. You feel refreshed and back in focus when you leave your partner.

So why this long story?

Well, sitting here, I’m surrounded by the mess a three month old and a two year old generate. Getting frustrated that nothing is getting crossed off my to do list. My son’s birthday party is just over the horizon followed by the holiday season and I haven’t started party planning. Looking at my stack of recipes of “cool mama” treats and recipes I want to try and feeling like I’m failing as a mom because my two year old is throwing another screaming fit.

I love this blog, but finding time to actually do the work that I want to do to make it successful is darn hard! I need to carve out some time to do some good ol’ research. How am I ever going to get all this done?

I’m reminded that I just need to stop. Stop trying to live up to the archive footage (ahem… Pinterest) of the supermom doing this most amazing ugrós, dancing from one project to another, all while maintaining a pristine house and volunteering to lead a mommy group for us crazy, frizzled moms.

What I really need, is to pick three or four things that I’m good at, that make me feel happy and that make my family happy. I need to forget about tripping over my feet and just feel everything happening around me.

There is a dance that each of us does every single day. Sometimes, we have people we share that dance with, and we need to learn to dance with them and not just around them.

So, time to turn on some music and dance with the kiddos. After all, they make the best dance partners…

What about you?

Have you ever felt that Zen moment while dancing? Where were you and what were you dancing? What reminds you to slow down in your every day life? Let us know in the comments below!

Folk Calendar – November 2014

One more month before the crazy holiday season. Time to get out of the house for one last casual event before we’re all inundated with office, dance group, and friends’ Christmas parties.

Here’s what’s happening in the GTA:

Click on the date to be taken to the event’s information page.

November 7 – BALfolk Toronto is hosting their second bal in Toronto’s Annex. If you’re into the dance house feeling and want to try some Breton dancing, go check them out. The evening starts with a family workshop at 6:30 pm.

November 28-December 21 – Toronto Christmas Market – If you’re looking for a European Christmas market feeling, but can’t get over to the old country, head down to the Distillery for some good food, shopping and music.

Folk events elsewhere in Canada:

Click on the date to be taken to the event’s information page.

November 27-29 – Canadian Folk Music Awards – Until a few weeks ago, I had no idea these awards existed. And we’re not just talking about the North American country music type of “folk” music. There are categories for international and traditional folk music as well. Must keep an eye on this!

Folk events in the US:

Click on the date to be taken to the event’s information page.

November 1 – Csürdöngölő in New Brunswick, NJ is hosting a táncház along with a workshop from guest teacher Richard Reicher (Hungary) who will be teaching dances from Gömör (Northern Hungary). A great opportunity to learn from a professional!

November 22 – Kisbetyárok Hungarian Family Dancers and Forrás Banda are hosting a Széki táncház in Seattle, WA. They’re including a dance workshop in the afternoon taught by Lajos Miklós and Flora Carlile-Kovacs. This is also great opportunity to learn from people with first hand experience living and dancing in Szék (aka Sic, Transylvania/Romania)

Traditional Folk Calendar

Most of these are based on events in the Hungarian traditional folk calendar, but there is definitely some overlap with other cultures. Have something to add? Let us know in the comments below.

All Saints’ Day – November 1 – The beginning of November is a biggie in the Hungarian folk calendar. The day after Halloween has been around for hundreds of generations, at least since the 10th century, when it was found mentioned in a German missal. Traditionally, this was a day to visit your ancestor’s graves, tidy them up and light candles in their memory. It was also thought that the souls of the deceased visited their families at this time, so an extra place was often set at the table in their honour. All Saints’ Day was also a time for young men looking for work to go to the market and meet with landowners, making agreements for the next year. This was the famous legényvásár, literally the “young men’s market” that you’ll find mentioned in Hungarian folk songs.

Day of the Dead – November 2 – It was believed that the night between November 1st and 2nd was when the dead held mass in the churches. In many places, it was custom not to do any washing, sometimes for the entire week, in the belief that the dead would be standing in the wash water or your clothes would turn yellow. It was also tradition to continue to visit the graves of dead loved ones and many of the traditions from the day before carried over, again, often lasting 3-5 days.

St. Martin’s Day – November 11 – Ever been to Szék around this time of year? Half the village is name Marton, so this is a huge name day and feast day. But not just in Szék. It was a feast day in many regions of Hungary, but the most famous was in Dunaszerdahely. It was also tradition for the shepherds to give the landowners a cane in exchange for some coins. It was thought that however many branches this cane had, the landowner could count on that many piglets being born in the spring. In many places, they’d also use this cane to drive the animals out to pasture again in the spring.

St. Andrew’s Day – November 30 – Want to know who you’re going to marry? Today is a day to try your hand at divination when it comes to finding your love. If you go out to your refuse pile at sunrise, whichever direction you hear a dog bark first is the direction your true love will appear. Or try sleeping with a shirt of the opposite sex tucked under your pillow to dream about your love. Might sound a little fanciful, but St Andrew’s day was all about forecasting your love. And not just in Hungary. According to Wikipedia, you’ll find similar customs from Central to Eastern Europe.

Did we leave something out? Let us know in the comments and we’ll add it to the list!

Folk Remedies for Cold Season

Well, fall is officially here. The days have turned cold and the nights are down right frigid. We’ve already had our first round of sniffles and with a new baby in the house, I am downright determined to breeze through this winter season without any major cold and flu bugs taking up residence!

So, what’s a folk mama to do when the bacteria comes a-knocking? Turn back to some tried and true folk remedies to keep everyone healthy. Today I’m going to share three of these remedies with you so you can keep your family healthy this cold season.

But before we begin, just a quick note. I am not a doctor. Please seek qualified medical advice before trying any new remedy (especially if you found it on the interwebs, people!) Please use common sense when administering any folk or herbal remedy, especially if you have a history of allergies to any of the ingredients.

Lemon & Honey

There is no beating this basic remedy. And there’s real good reason not to knock it.

Lemon gives you vitamin C, something that your body needs to fight infection and stay healthy.

Honey has a time honoured position amongst folk remedies and has long been hailed for its many healing properties. Raw, unpasteurized honey especially, has proven antibacterial properties and is chock full of enzymes and anti-oxidants. It is a sugar, so it will give you a bit of an energy life, but I find that I don’t get that same “crash” as when you’ve had a lot of white sugar. Honey, however, absolutely should not be given to children under a year old.

Now, you can use lemon & honey in almost any combination with tea, but back in my college days, I’d use pálinka, a Hungarian plum brandy, especially when I was having trouble falling asleep due to my cold symptoms. You don’t need to go out and find it in your local liquor store. Any white/clear grain alcohol, like vodka or rum will also do. But for heavens sake! I do not recommend adding booze if you’re making this remedy for children! Use a nice herbal tea, like peppermint or camomile instead.

So, here’s Cold & Flu Buster #1:

• 1 oz pálinka (or vodka or white rum)
• 1 oz freshly squeezed lemon juice
• 1 tablespoon raw, unpasteurized honey (regular ol’ honey will also do)
  • Mix all ingredients together and drink. It’s that easy.

Throat Soother

I first came across this remedy about a year ago while reading Beth’s blog, Red & Honey. She used it to help her strep throat, but it is absolutely awesome when you have just any sore throat. This soother will not only help to ease the scratchy pain, but it will help kill those bugs that caused it in the first place!

Cayenne has been used therapeutically in folk remedies mainly from China and the Americas. Cayenne has a high concentration of capsaicin, an active component that helps to break up mucus and has anti-bacterial and analgesic properties. I know, that last one sounds counter intuitive, but after that initial burn, cayenne will leave you a little numb. Just what you’re sore throat needs!

Apple cider vinegar also has anti-bacterial properties and helps to thin mucus and clear up congestion. I really like using Bragg’s ACV because it’s organic, and they don’t strain out the beneficial organisms used to ferment the vinegar (ie.- turn your apple cider into a vinegar). That means it’s probiotic, too!

Without further ado, I present Cold & Flu Buster #2:

• 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
• 1 tablespoon lemon
• 1 teaspoon raw, unpasteurized honey, or to taste (regular honey is good, too)
• as much cayenne as you can stand
• hot water
  • Add all ingredients to a mug and top up with hot water. Sip and feel soothed.
  • If you don’t like spicy foods (like me), start with a little cayenne and work your way up.
  • Don’t use water that you’ve just boiled for this recipe. The vitamin C in the lemon and the enzymes and anti-bacterial properties of the raw honey are all heat sensitive and will decrease if you add boiling water. Let your boiling water cool slightly before using.
  • As you can imagine, little kids don’t usually like spicy foods, so omit the cayenne for the kiddos.

Fire Cider

This is a new remedy that I’m trying out this season. I heard about it on Mommypotamus and did a little more research into it. It’s more of an overall immune boosting tonic and I plan on using it more as a preventative measure for us adults.

There are a lot of fire cider recipes out there, but they all have some basic common ingredients, garlic, ginger and hot peppers being the usual suspects. Other ingredients you can choose include onion, thyme, peppercorns, rosemary, horseradish, lemon, orange, turmeric, and the list goes on. The base can be either apple cider vinegar or vodka or white rum. Do some research and find a combo that works for you.

I decided to make mine using chili peppers, garlic, onion, horseradish, lemon and ginger in a vodka base to make it shelf stable for longer.

Chili peppers also contain capsaicin, as do most hot peppers. It’s healing properties are similar to cayenne.

Garlic. Ah, garlic. Stinky, smelly, oh so good for you. That stink is caused by allicin, a compound that has anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, anti-viral properties. It’s been traditionally used to treat everything from the common cold to heart disease to jock itch. Yum. Again, if you have any digestive issues, avoid garlic.

Onions are another powerhouse veggie. They have very high amounts of polyphenols, which are a group of compounds recognized for their disease prevention. They’re anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, anti-inflammatory, and anti-histaminic (meaning they block the body’s release of histamines during an allergic reaction). More good food for our immune booster tonic!

Horseradish has been used to treat cough, bronchitis, urinary tract infections and a slew of other ailments. It contains mustard oil, so should be used with caution as it can create stomach upset and major irritation if you are sensitive to it. Don’t use for remedies intended for children (especially the under 4 crowd) or if you have any stomach or digestive issues, and should not be taken therapeutically if you are pregnant.

And finally, ginger. It has a long standing tradition, and across many cultures, of being used to battle nausea and other stomach bugs, but it’s also great for fighting bacteria, inflammation, parasites, and other nasties. It’s a great decongestant and it’s heat inducing properties help to soothe sore throats.

I am definitely eager to see how effective this remedy is for our family!

Here’s the recipe for Cold & Flu Buster #3:

• 3 chili peppers
• 8 cloves garlic
• 1 medium onion
• 3 inch long piece of fresh horseradish
• juice and zest of three lemons
• 3 inch knob of ginger
• 750 mL vodka
• honey
  • Take all the veggies & ginger and process them in a food processor until roughly chopped. You could also grate or finely chop by hand.
  • Layer the ingredients in a large glass jar (I used an old pickle jar), with the peppers, garlic and onions on the bottom, and the heavier horseradish and ginger at the top. Add lemon zest and juice.
  • Pour vodka over your concoction to cover with a little more on top to allow for the root veggies to expand.
  • Place in a cool, dry place for at least 2 weeks, longer would be even better. Stir or gently swirl occasionally.
  • If you decide to use apple cider vinegar (a better option for kids) instead of the vodka, store your jar in the fridge.
  • Strain out solids and add honey to taste. Store in a clean jar or bottle.
  • Adults take 1-2 tablespoons daily during cold season, more often if you’re feeling under the weather. You can take it as a straight up shot, mixed with hot water/tea, in juice, or even mixed in to a salad dressing with bite!

What about you? What do you do to get ready for cold and flu season? Does your family have any remedies, routines or traditions to keep healthy? Let us know in the comments below!

Folk Calendar – October 2014

There’s so much going on, but now that the September back-t0-school stress is over, here’s what’s happening in the folk world.

Many of these events are happening in the Greater Toronto Area, but there’s also traditional saints days and other folk holidays that you could celebrate wherever you live.

Happening in the GTA

Click on dates to be taken to event pages.

October 3 – The Kodaly Ensemble is having an open practice with teachers from Hungary to kick off the start of a new dance year. See poster below for details.

October 4-5 – Így tedd rá! Is one of the leading dance methodology programs in Hungary, geared towards learning to teach kids. They’re doing a North American tour and this workshop is their only Canadian stop. The teachers are from Hungary and they specialize in teaching dance instruction methodology.

October 5 – The Vychodna Slovak Dancers are having their 30th Anniversary show! Congratulations!

October 9 – The Kodály Ensemble’s first official practice with their new teachers from Hungary.

October 9 – Ventanas @ Cafe Chez Helen – If you want some energy but don’t want to go all out gaga, then check out Ventanas. They play a mix of Sephardic-Flamenco-Balkan and (psst!) they’re nominated for two Canadian Folk Music Awards this year!

October 10 – The Lemon Bucket Orkestra is back in town! They’ve been touring Canada all summer and then working on their latest CD. Go check them out at The Opera House.

October 11-12 – In the mood for a road trip? The Western Canadian Hungarian Folk Festival kicks of in Regina this weekend. Sadly, I have yet been able to attend, but Toronto/Montreal favourite folk band, Gyanta, will be in attendance, as usual.

Folk Calendar

There are lots of important things traditionally happening in Hungary at this time. The biggie? Wine time!

You can read all about it here in this online version (sorry it’s in Hungarian) of the Encyclopedia of Hungarian Ethnography. The Hungarian Electronic Library is an awesome resource. I check it out often as a starting point for my research, and I occasionally find resources in English, too. Awesome! Cause my academic Hungarian is not the greatest.

The folk calendar is marked by a lot of saints days. It was an easy way of keeping track of your calendar, because these days were often feast days in the Church if not the whole village. So, here are some notables:

St. Teresa – October 15 – This was the start of the grape harvest in many regions. In the south, it was also a day when women were banned from doing their household chores, most notably laundry and bread baking.

St. Ursula – October 21 – So, following a day of feasting, St. Ursula’s day was the day to forecast the weather for the winter. If it was a nice day, it would be a mild winter, and vice versa if it wasn’t.

St. Dömötör – October 26 – Time for a party. St. Dömötör is the patron saint of shepherds, so this day was a big deal. Particularly in Szeged, the party could go on for days, since St. Dömötör was also the patron saint of their church. Unfortunately, the traditions surrounding this saints day fell out of popularity around the turn of the last century, so there’s not too much to be found happening today.

So that’s what we’ve got going this month. Stay tuned for November, there’s some cool things coming up.

Have something you’d like to include in next month’s folk calendar? Drop me a line!

Wha’ Happened? – aka why it’s been ages since a post…

You caught us slacking on the job…

Well, actually. We were kinda busy. More on that below.

But I can’t believe it’s the 2nd of October.

That’s just one month shy of being a year since I last wrote. Crikey.

I look back at how our family has grown and changed in the last year, and how little I’ve worked on my beloved blog, and I feel pretty pooped. But then again there have been major changes.

Out on our own

We (finally) moved out of my mother-in-law’s home to a nice little two bedroom apartment back in March/April. It’s a cozy little place and we still have boxes in the corner that need to be unpacked, but for the most part, we’re settled. There are parks nearby for the kiddo, and we’re no more than 15 minutes from all our regular activities and work.

So, what happened between November and March, you ask? The usual pre- and post holiday shenanigans. Christmas party overload followed by New Year’s resolutions that are broken by the end of February. Then there was the other big news…

Then we had a baby!

Yuppers! Aranka Sarolta made her appearance on July 18 at four something in the morning. I say “four something” because I still don’t know exactly. But, boy was it an unplanned party! And Zsombi slept through the whole thing (thank God!). More on that story in a future post.

So, now that Babuka (baby) is two months old already, we’re slowly getting our groove back. And that’s when we really realized just how broke we are. So, this mama turns back to her blog. I’ll be honest, I have big plans for this blog and I need it to make money if I want to keep investing time in this.

Here’s a quick visual of the past year:

So, what’s next?

Well, since babies are still very much on the brain here, I’ve got a series planned about being preggo in the golden days before tv, internet, and walk-in clinics. Back when birthing was a women’s thing and your mothers, sisters and neighbours were the ones helping you out and you likely had your baby at home.

I’ll also let you in on how we’re helping Little Z get accustomed to his new sister and how I’m dealing with being at home with an (almost) three year old and a baby (bang head against wall here). I’ll also be updating our Facebook page and winding up the Pinterest.

I’m also working on some new designs for jewellery, but I have a feeling that it’ll be a while before I carve some time out to make anything. As for all my other business ideas? Well, my biggest challenge right now is accepting that I’m not a supermom who can do everything all at once. So, baby steps for now!

What about you?

Is there something folk  you’ve always wanted to know about? Is there some long lost craft you’ve always wanted to learn? How do you and you’re family deal with major life changes? Let me know in the comments below. Who knows, maybe it’ll turn into a blog post down the line!

Holy cinnamon sticks, Batman!

The final countdown

For the past week, my kitchen has smelled like cinnamon. Warm and spicy. The only thing that has managed to overpower it is when we cook with garlic. And then it comes back. The source? The cookie-like cinnamon ornaments that have been hanging around drying, waiting to be decorated.

As part of the launch for Foundling Folk, I’m doing a bit of fundraising for the Kodály Ensemble at their fall táncház this weekend. I’ve made a ton of Christmas ornaments by blending Hungarian traditional honey cakes (mézeskalács) with a more permanent (but equally scrumptious) technique using cinnamon dough. You can seen the photos in the stunning collage above (ha!).

I love this stuff! It’s super to work with – just like baking cookies! But the dough hardens into a permanent shape that will keeps its lovely cinnamon spiciness for years! Then I get out my paints and whip up a little decoration on them and – bazinga! – you’ve got a folksy Christmas decoration!

So, while I’ve been busy getting Foundling Folk ready for the táncház, I’ve completely forgotten about us getting ready for the táncház.

Getting all spruced up

 

Personally, I don’t make as much fuss about getting ready for a táncház as I used to. Probably has to do with the fact that I’m no longer munchkin-less and that my prep time for just about any event is limited to what I can do during a quick 15 minute escape. I used to pride myself in being able to get out of the house within 20 minutes, but those days are long gone!

I’m one of those people I mentioned in my previous post who likes to sit on the fence when it comes to what to wear to a táncház. Sometimes I’ll go for a tunic and leggings, other times, a skirt is a must. Since I’m performing with UngroRom, I’ll probably be going in a skirt. Maybe a change of clothes for later (I tend to lose patience with skirts, especially if it’s my turn to drive home at the end of the night).

To get in the mood, I also like to listen to my “hit list” of favourite folk music. In my opinion, nothing gets me going like some Moldva – Kárpátia (not to be confused with Kárpátia) or Csürrentő really get me in the par-tay mind set.

And alas, no folk dancer can really get away with going to a party without having something to iron. *bleh*. Since we  in Toronto usually have a quick showcase before the start of the táncház, this means costumes. At least it’s only Happy Hubby’s costumes this time. Hmmmm… There must be a way to get a man to iron his own shirts…

Táncház time!

So what do you do to get ready for a folk party? Do you have a routine or do you just throw something on and head out the door?

So you want to go táncház…

The countdown has begun!

With only a week to go before the Kodály Ensemble’s fall táncház, I’m super busy getting ready for the official launch of Foundling Folk! Got tons to do and I can feel the clock in the back of my skull ticking down. Plus, Little Z came down with a fever two days ago, and while he’s definitely feeling better, we’re still in clingy-only-Mama-will-do mode. *Sigh*. When it rains, it pours.

But here we go…

Last time I said I’d be continuing my táncház series that I started in the spring. You can check out the first post that I created for the spring táncház here. Also, if you’d like to really get into the history of the dance house movement (táncház mozgalom), this is a superb article written for this past summer’s Folk Life Festival at the Smithsonian, where Hungary was the feature culture.

This time, we’re going to be checking out some táncház etiquette. But before I forget, you can get all the info for the fall táncház on Kodály’s Facebook event.

So you want to go táncház… What to expect.

First off, there’s going to be folk music. Lots of it. All night live bands playing nothing but folk. Not so scary.

Second, there are going to be people dancing. All night. Just folk dancing. A little scary if you’ve never been and don’t know what to do. Do you need to know how to do those boot slapping, prancing and dancing moves? NO! You see, we’ll show you how.

Now, what I’m going to get into is mostly how things work at the Kodály dance houses. Every community sets up their táncház a little differently and there are subtle differences in local etiquette, but in general, there are some things everyone abides by. Also, going to a táncház in Hungary or Transylvania will get you into another batch of unwritten rules of etiquette, but again, the major ones still stand.

The Format

Here in Toronto, we open the night with a  kids’ táncház, followed by a brief show before we get the party started. There are teaching circles for first timers or old timers alike. You don’t need to know what you’re doing to get up and dance!

And what’s a good party without a little refreshment? The bar and buffet are open all night.

Now note – if you’re with Hungarians, drinking and having a good time go hand in hand. Expect alcohol but don’t feel like you must imbibe if it’s not you’re thing. That said, public drunkenness is not easily tolerated in most táncház. In Toronto, we have quite a few families stick around until late, and no one likes trying to dance with a slobbery mess.

What to wear

If you want to follow the traditional school, guys wear a collared shirt (jeans are ok) and girls wear a skirt (usually knee length or longer). This is definitely the format that you will find almost at any táncház, especially in Europe. You can’t go wrong if you follow this rule.

However, times are changing. It’s becoming more acceptable to wear t-shirts for guys (although looking presentable will always land you more dance partners). For gals, pants are becoming more popular, but many ladies opt for a cross between the two styles and wear leggings with a longer tunic-style dress/top. It’s entirely up to you. If it’s you’re first time, wear what makes you most comfortable.

Also a note from a few female friends to the guys. It’s going to get hot. You’re going to sweat. If you’re the type who’s going to be dancing all night and you sweat a fair amount, bring along a change of shirt and swap that sweaty, goopy old one out for a fresh one before you go ask that girl for a dance. Just sayin’…

Getting up to dance

You don’t need to know any Hungarian folk dance and you don’t need to arrive with a partner. I’m not going to lie, if you show up with either of these two points, you will be ahead of the game, but it’s not necessary.

So who asks who to dance? Again, there are traditionalists who think it’s only right for the guy to ask the gal up, and there are those “modern gals” who will ask the guy to dance. Again, here in North America, either goes. In Hungary, if you’re a gal and ask a guy to dance, you may be in for a surprised look, but nowadays, politeness wins out and I have yet to see a guy say no to a girl.

The easiest way to find a partner though, is to get up and dance during the teaching circles. Not only is it respectful to the teachers leading (trust me, most of them hate running after people to try and get them to dance), but it’ll also show you’re really interested in getting yourself out on the dance floor.

And even if you are a superb dancer, take note of your partner. Look at them every now and then and smile. No one likes feeling like a marionette who’s being used as a prop to showcase your folk dance glory. Dance with your partner. This is a dance conversation.

The musicians

These guys are in it for the long haul. They start playing in the early evening (earlier if there was a workshop in the afternoon), and they will be the last ones to leave. Treat them with respect.

The musicians play music for you to dance to, therefore the space right in front of them is prime dance real estate. If you’re there, interact with the musicians. Smile at them, dance for them, take note of how it feels. This is you and them having a dance/music conversation. So for Pete’s sake, don’t turn your back on them! This is akin to snubbing someone mid-sentence.

Also, don’t hog prime real estate for too long. Give others a chance to have that conversation.

As the night wears on, people like to request “their songs”. It’s polite to tip the musicians when you do this. You usually take a bill and put it in the violinist’s bow. This also lets other know that you’ve made a request and it’s considered rude to interrupt  someone else’s request too early. By all means, if it goes on forever… But again, it’s a conversation. Not nice to butt in.

So, there you have it

You are now well versed in táncház. Get off that tush of yours and get thee to a táncház! And if there’s anything I missed, feel free to comment or ask a question.

Hope to see you next week, and in the mean time, I’m back to my kitchen to work away on my own project for the táncház.

Weekend Links – October 19

 

I’m cheating a little with the Weekend Links this week. You see, I’ve barely had time to bum around the internet this week. I’ve got bupkis. But with good reason!

You may notice that there have been some changes in the appearance in this site over the last week and in the coming days. I’m trying to polish up the place in advance of the launch, planned on November 2nd at the  Kodály Ensemble’s Fall Táncház.

The logo and banner are almost finished, I’m just trying to get them to work with the themed layout.

So, happy weekend to all and check back soon for more updates!

Táncház Time!

It’s time for Kodály’s fall táncház!

Which means, it’s time to get my act together. It’s time to make this blog official! So, November 2nd has been set as the official launch date for Foundling Folk!

Yikes, I gotta get me butt together!

It also means that I’m going to resurrect my “táncház for beginners” series that I didn’t get a chance to really do in the spring.

So, time to get cracking! In the mean time, check out the Kodály Ensemble’s Facebook event for the táncház for all the pertinent information.

Cheers!